Introduction
This is a public statement I am making of my experience at Lighthouse and I have a great deal more I can share, however for the purposes of publishing it online, a lot has been removed for privacy and disclosure. More will follow soon as the truth is brought out as evidence through the courts. For me and for Lighthouse, this has been a long process of setting the record straight about the lives that have been completely transformed by the support at Lighthouse, lives like mine.
Tragically, some of the people who were seemingly closest to me, so called friends and family members, have actively tried to sabotage me and everyone at Lighthouse, including the decades of time, money and effort that has been invested into research here long before I came on the scene.
It has recently been confirmed via conclusive evidence from various sources close to them that both my mother Dagmar Spaeth and my sister Tania Francis who is a partner at the law firm Hempsons have been central to the illegal and unlawful smear campaign against me and those who have sacrificed so much for me at Lighthouse. Make no mistake, I have spent countless hours explaining to both these women why Lighthouse has meant so much to me, to no avail. We are all defined by our actions, not our intentions, and calling something love whilst being anti-loving is not something you can just paint over with platitudes – a fact I wrote to both of them in letters 18 months ago. Instead of support, when the youngest chick (that’s me) wanted to leave the nest and spread her wings, they were having absolutely none of it. Their efforts escalated to police being involved, offering to arrest Tania for harassment and numerous unsolicited visits to my property, and despite being let off (on my request) with a warning, she has not ceased. Every effort I made, even asking her employer to speak to her to get her to cease and desist, she has continued a covert mission to sabotage my personal growth and my work. My mother was sending me gifts in the post and quoting bible verses while stabbing me in the back, writing poisonous lies about me and the wonderful kind souls here at Lighthouse. Lies which she thought I would never find out about. I am so grateful to have learnt this, confirming suspicions I have had for the last 2 years, because while tragic that someone could do this to someone they gave birth to or share blood with, I now know conclusively that the “love” and “care” are words ashamedly abused by toxic families, I know who they actually are and it’s not who they pretend to be on the surface to those who think they know them. Yes, I was deceived by them too.
I for one, would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Paul Waugh in particular and the people at Lighthouse that in helping me, I brought with me my baggage of toxic individuals who would take it upon themselves to attack Lighthouse simply for helping me grow up. Lighthouse has been gracious in enduring a 2 year long smear campaign, and against all odds have continued to serve and help people like me every day to stand for the truth. Now, this testimonial is the next step in standing up for myself and standing up against those who have chronically infantilised me and who have maliciously tried to destroy Lighthouse. They will never be successful as long as we stand for truth in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Testimonial
Whilst my time at Lighthouse and being a part of this community is incredibly hard to put into words, it has been one of the most challenging and personally fulfilling experiences of my whole life. It is unbelievable to me that I am even at a point of having to write this statement. Over the last 2 years, I have been absolutely shocked by the malicious predatory trolling smear campaign against Lighthouse and the deliberate sabotage of the incredible work done here. I never in my life thought that I would be witness to such blatant character assassination as what is being attempted against Paul Waugh and Lighthouse with a complete disregard of testimonies like mine for whom Lighthouse is not some shady organisation but a lifeline. For Lighthouse to be destroyed completely through these attacks would be like having the dream house you are building be burned to the ground by people who were jealous you have a vision and a home. It would be a disaster, a tragedy and a total malicious sabotage of a lifeline. I do not know where else I would ever find the same level of commitment, care, self-sacrifice and dedication to truth and reality as I have received and desperately need at Lighthouse. We all have needs as human beings, and needing to be around the right healthy people who will help you to grow is the most fundamental and healthy need I can think of. What reason would anyone have to justify destroying something which is bringing about so much good and so much hope? I hope that my testimony is living proof that Lighthouse has helped me immeasurably.
Where I Was Before Joining Lighthouse
At the time I met Kris Deichler, the first person I met from Lighthouse in December 2018, I was; 24 years old, a smoker, a partier, an occasional cocaine user, a gambler, underweight, seeking my value through sex with men, jumping from one relationship to the next, compulsive, addicted, insecure, self-involved, a new age spiritualist, a spendthrift, a sexual assault survivor, a social prostitute (as in someone who would do anything for acceptance from other people), lonely, in chronic pain with a colorectal illness that consultants said may be lifelong, aimless in my career and surrounded by a lot of people who, like my parents, reinforced my dependencies and weaknesses.
I was trying to pull my life together but I needed help from someone who was also trying to get their life together, as in their advice wasn’t theoretical, they were walking their talk. I knew from Kris, also a child of divorce, that his advice to me was not hot air – he was applying it to his own life. This is so rare, even in therapy, it is rare to have a therapist who is in the process of therapy themselves. And after experiencing both kinds of therapists, I knew the difference. When I started applying his advice to my life, I was getting results almost immediately. From that moment, I wanted to learn more – what was he doing, what was he learning and how could I learn the same thing and apply it to my life?
Opposition from family and friends
Whilst facing my challenges, trauma and my personal demons has been hard, by far the biggest obstacles I have had to face have been my family and so-called friends. For most of my childhood and adult life, I have been so dependent on what my family and friends think of me and what I do, often at the expense of my well-being. Since a dramatic and messy divorce between my parents over a few years in my teens, I have sought attention and validation to feed a deep insecurity in myself. My needs as a human were always secondary to what my parents wanted and I have been left with huge issues of dependency as a result of never knowing how to truly put myself, my growth and my development first.
This started at the age of 12 when my parents would have raging arguments during their divorce, until they each moved abroad when I was 15, leaving me to live with relatives. My parents abandoned their responsibility to be stable, mature and positive influences to me in my troubled teens and instead, I would only see them for an average of a week every 6 months. Without effective parenting and leadership, I started going off the rails and went through a lot of challenges and trauma on my own. I started going to therapy when I was 17 because I was so starved for attention and validation that I didn’t know the basics, like what it means to extend and earn trust.
I reached a point in my life in my mid-20s when I could no longer neglect caring for myself to meet the needs of my family and friends and I could no longer ignore the fact that even though I pretended I was fine on the surface, I felt angry, broken and empty underneath. No one in my life had cared enough for me to help me to understand myself at the core of my own value, what I care about, what matters to me, and to not chop and change based on what others think of me. Until Lighthouse.
My relationships at Lighthouse are unlike any others that I had, and for good reason. After first becoming involved at Lighthouse, for a few months when I would share with friends or family what I was learning about myself and the principles of maturing and becoming healthier as a human being, I was shocked that I wasn’t met with support, instead I was met with judgement or they would prefer to make small talk. I was craving deep, meaningful, intellectually and emotionally stimulating conversations about life and love but I couldn’t have those conversations with my friends or my family. If I tried to, at best they would be sympathising or nodding along with a “that’s nice for you”, or at worst they would start arguing with me. A noticeable rift emerged between me and some family members and what I believed to be friends.
It was then that I learned that, no matter how much a friend or family member told me that they loved me and cared for me, if they could not trust me to make decisions for myself then I didn’t really have a relationship with them. It seemed that instead they liked who I was before I started working on myself, no matter how depressed, unhealthy or broken down or dependent on others I was before I started healing because it suited them. If I didn’t grow up, they didn’t have to grow up. If I didn’t take responsibility, they didn’t need to take responsibility. If I didn’t challenge them, they could carry on getting significance from my being vulnerable and impulsive. The idea that your family and friends love you no matter what and want the best for you is a myth. If they are not regenerating with you, they want the best for you as long as you make them look good and it suits their idea of themselves.
Confrontation
No matter how much time I spent telling my family all that I was getting from mentoring, how much Lighthouse was helping me recover from illness, how much I was now caring for the child in me who was still so wounded from divorce, how much I was trying to take responsibility for acting out and being toxic to others, no matter what I said to them, it always came down to them objecting to the money I had invested in myself and my healing. It was always as if money or the ability to get a mortgage one day or save for retirement despite not even being in my 30s was more important than healing in any of these painful and debilitating areas. Truly, if money is more important to members of a family than having a healthy daughter or a healthy sister then that gives more cause for Lighthouse to exist than anything.
The more that I started facing problems head-on, not shying away from honest conversations, and facing where family and friends needed to take responsibility as well, the more opposition I received. And this was not based exclusively on what I was learning at Lighthouse but from many other sources, books, therapy, documentaries, studies, interviews with experts in relationships, etc. In fact, the first time I confronted my parents and wrote them letters was when I was in therapy when I was 17, so this wasn’t new for me or them.
In the book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward PhD (leading psychiatrist in her field), Dr Forward advises that the process of confronting parents courageously for your painful past is an essential and empowering part of healing. Dr Forward writes: “Children who are not encouraged to do, to try, to explore, to master, and to risk failure, often feel helpless and inadequate. Over-controlled by anxious, fearful parents, these children often become anxious and fearful themselves. This makes it difficult for them to mature. Many never outgrow the need for ongoing parental guidance and control. As a result, their parents continue to invade, manipulate, and frequently dominate their lives.” This describes the experience I have had in adulthood at the hands of family members, particularly certain female family members, trying to dominate and control my life and where for many years until recently, I allowed them. Dr Forward also writes that toxic parents will not accept any external reality that challenges their beliefs or the agreed upon rules of “the family system”. In my case, holding my family accountable for their behaviour has been met with nothing but resistance, deception, denial and blame shifting, exactly as Dr Forward describes.
If it was THIS difficult to have progressive conversations as a family, if my family members were THIS resistant to me growing up and no longer being the baby and finally maturing out of dependency, then it was no wonder that I had been struggling in so many areas of my life. And it was no wonder that I needed to come to somewhere like Lighthouse to start making sense of my life. At the time, people at Lighthouse were the only ones who also understood this. They experienced the same things – people they had known their whole lives who they naturally grew away from or started locking horns with when they started working on themselves and dealing with their fallibilities and iniquities.
Standing up for myself
I started going through a very painful process of facing some of my biggest challenges and the areas of my psyche, my health and well-being that I was the most in denial of, including my health. When I met Lighthouse, I’d had 2 surgeries for a colorectal disease which I could barely verbalise – I struggled to say why I was sick because I was so embarrassed, so worried about being judged and didn’t want to draw attention to a defect in myself. I was in denial of my own illness and there were many other areas of my life that I had denied, justified and minimised, but I could not twist the fabric of reality – the more I was ignoring my problems, the bigger they got. The people at Lighthouse could see my suffering and they helped me to stand up for myself, to look at all the areas of myself where I was suffering and didn’t want to look, to deal with the problems I had head-on. For instance, after my father hurled verbal abuse at me five days after my sixth surgery in March 2021, it was the people at Lighthouse who picked me up off the floor and got me safely into a hotel, helped me to rebuild my life and finally look at the toxicity that has existed in my family for many years. After years of saying “I’m fine”, I could finally say “you know what, I really need help, I’m suffering”. And the physical healing that has come through this has been absolutely extraordinary. I have gone from having a potentially lifelong disease to being given the all-clear, no longer needing to dress my wounds daily and no longer suffering from chronic pain every day.
The Predatory Trolling and The Press
It has been an absolute shock to me that family and so-called friends, in the name of love, care and wanting the best for me, have been so entitled, unempathetic, unsupportive, ignorant, impatient and controlling when it comes to me and how I choose to live my life. It has been a greater shock to me that many of them would hate to be proved wrong in their ridiculous and false delusions that Lighthouse is a scam all because I invested money in the care I am receiving. They would rather see me fail in my investment in myself, even taking an active part in trying to ensure that I do fail than support me to succeed.
The accusations made against Lighthouse online and in the press have broken my heart because everything has been twisted and taken out of context and has been used to manipulate people away from the support they need to heal as I needed. If I had listened to what was written in the press, or online, or what I was getting from all sides of my family about Lighthouse being a scam (with no evidence), I would still be suffering from illness and I would still be battling deep insecurities and depression. And although I have been deeply stressed and affected by this at times, what has kept me at Lighthouse has been the truth.
The Support I Have Received
My family told me that when Lighthouse was done extracting money out of me that they would leave me on the side of the road and I would have nothing and no one. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I have received far more than I have put in, time, money and effort. People at Lighthouse have paid for my rent for a 1 bed flat for 6 months when I couldn’t cover it myself because I needed to prioritise my physical healing, they have spent hours on the phone with me giving me advice for every challenge in my life, helping me cover my costs out of their own pockets, sharing with me all they had to give, keeping nothing selfishly for themselves, they have opened their homes to me. It has never been about money because if it was, I believe they would have made far more by now. It has always been about community, caring for one another, learning together and truly healing. The people at Lighthouse are not perfect and have made mistakes for sure, but they have always put people and relationships first which means that the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health and well-being of a person and their relationships are paramount.
Becoming Christian
Lighthouse never pressured me in my finances, my decisions to create some much-needed space away from toxic members of my family, or my faith. Kris Deichler suggested I read the Gospel of Matthew during Covid when I was struggling like many thousands and millions were across the world. Every discussion around God, Jesus Christ and the Bible has been an organic and honest exploration like any other discussion around the big questions. In this exploration, I could accept that whilst I had been hurt a lot in life, I had also caused a lot of hurt. The Bible taught me about forgiveness, taking responsibility and making my wrongs right. Without that, I would be doomed to be a victim, always blaming someone else rather than accepting that if I do not truly reform where I have caused hurt then I will just end up repeating the same abuse I have endured onto others in my own twisted ways. It was the Bible and faith in Jesus Christ as my saviour which showed me how I can be redeemed from the hell of self-abuse I was living and perpetuating.
There is no part of me that feels uncomfortable about becoming a Christian during my tenure at Lighthouse. In fact, I am absolutely delighted that in this secular and godless world that they were open to exploring the reality and truth of the Bible and how it can be backed up with hard evidence and logic. I have personally fallen in love with apologetics off the back of this and now have a love of Biblical archaeology which fills me with deep appreciation and awe of God and a growing certainty in the truth of the Bible. This extends way beyond Lighthouse.
4 years down the road at Lighthouse, I am now; Christian, an ex-smoker, sober, drug and narcotic-free, an ex-gambler, illness/ fistula free, healing, healthy, abstinent, a reforming sinner, growing in true security, humility and gratitude in God, growing into a mature grown adult, part of a loving community, part of a wonderful local church, clear in my God-given purpose to serve those who are less fortunate and vulnerable than myself. I owe Lighthouse and the community here my life for everything they have supported me through to grow into who I am today. Anyone who would prefer me for who I was before beginning this journey is either ignorant or cruel and I pray for them both.
God bless you Mel, thank you for sharing from your heart. This is something that I really value at Lighthouse, what people share comes from a place of wanting to heal and wanting to help others in the same situation to heal. Your openness and honesty in sharing where you were in your life before Lighthouse, wanting to be honest with yourself and willing to suffer through that, thank you. Your deep meaningful apology to Paul and to everyone in Lighthouse, God bless you. I have seen changes in you, seeing the woman that is emerging from the little girl, you are an inspiration, your strength and courage to keep battling through your illness, not allowing that to stop or prevent you from doing what you wanted to do. Love you loads Mel x x
What an incredible journey! I feel truly honoured to have walked some of your journey with you and seeing your growth through this time! Being attacked by the very people who ought to care the most about your growth is such a terrible thing, and I can relate through my own lived experience as I will be sharing in my testimony soon. You are not on your own by any means! It’s wonderful to see how you are and will continue to use your journey to inspire others.
Mel while this has been painful to read, to feel and experience what you went through both as a child, caught in the blind rage of your parents, but also now as an adult from your so-called family and friends. It’s actually sad and just so utterly revealing that whatevever these parents and hateful trolls say about us online, it’s exposed by the reality of their behaviour. Not just not-supporting you, but as you say, they’d be actually happy if this all came down at Lighthouse, because they don’t see their own children and siblings as human beings, they see them as their property. God bless them, I hope what you’ve written here can wake them up, I pray it does. I know this was far from easy (understatement) for you to write. Christ’s strength and the love of community speaks volumes here Mel, may God continue to bless and strengthen you x
Mel, God bless your heart and soul. Thank you for sharing your journey into and through Lighthouse and for being so open about your experiences of the predatory trolling that involved your own family members. God bless you and I will pray for them too. I could really relate to a lot of your journey having come from a divorced family myself, but also just how you treated yourself off the back of it and how you’ve found your faith and restoration through and with Christ. It’s been deeply moving to read about your journey. Thank you so much. Loads of love to you and God bless you 🙏🏼
What an inspiring journey you are sharing here, Mel. Bless you, for the pain, heartache and betrayal you have experienced, and with God’s grace are growing and healing through.
Reading more details about your family’s involvement in the smear campaign is shocking, yet I think many people will relate and not be surprised if the actions of those closest to them, turned out to be the ones causing the most pain, unfortunately. Where your family refuses to see the benefits of your growing independence and maturity, they are blocking their own potential and healing.
There are so many people who will benefit and be encouraged in their own lives through what you are sharing here. I pray for your continued journey to health and love, with and through your deepening relationship with Christ.
Mel, you have been through so much, and yet have dug deep and found the strength inside you, through Christ, to keep coming back, day after day, and work work work to become the person you are today, from the person you were, with the help of this community… And none of your sorry detractors can take that away from you. In fact, all the more power to you for your growth despite them constantly trying to destroy you 💪🏼 God bless you 🙏🏼❤️
Thank Mel, Viv is spot on – you have been through so much, so have so many. The difference is that you have used your experiences and made better choices through our Lord, his sovereign provision and you have chosen to surround yourself with others who are loving and supporting you.
In Punjabi we have a word called ‘jull’. It literally means to burn up inside when you are jealous or envious at the success of others. This is exactly what your family are doing and many families are doing here with you and others. Thank you for your courage and care. Please don’t stop setting a healthy example for your family and many others. It’s needed, just do’t expect thanks, just more jull.
Mel, thank you for standing up and stating the reality as to how those seemingly close to you have actively tried to sabotage you and us all at Lighthouse. It takes strength, maturity and courage to do so. You are so right in stating that we are all defined by our actions, not our intentions! This means all who have deliberately attacked and harmed those of us here cannot hide behind the intention of “care” or so called “love”. That’s not caring or loving in the slightest! For many of us our biggest challenge is facing our abusers. I too have been faced with the reality that my family do not have the capacity to sit in my pain and to genuinely love and support. The worst trait of narcissism is by those who claim to “love” yet cannot and do not have the humility to not just say sorry, but BE genuinely sorry because they mean it. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably about the horrible illness you endured for such a long time. I don’t doubt in my heart at all that your healing could only happen when you felt safe to do so in the protection of our Christ. How gorgeous is our Christ! Thank you for your wonderful testimony. God bless you Mellingtons x x
Thank you for sharing your testimony and your life with us Mel, thank you for being real, the increasingly real you. You share your experiences, not as a rant, as many character assassins and predatory trolls like to claim, but as an obviously maturing woman. This is not an attack, it’s reality and you present your experiences with humility and a strength that comes from being rooted in truth. I relate a lot to girl you were when you joined Lighthouse, seeking and indulging in so many unhealthy things because you didn’t understand (let alone know how to respond to) the pain and confusion inside.
I’m so sorry that you have gone through the persecution you have from family and so-called friends but my goodness you have used it well, because you have been open to the help and support from genuinely loving and caring people at Lighthouse. It is a sad reality that if money hadn’t been involved that you most likely wouldn’t have received the attacks that you have, however the blessing is that this has shone a light on who and where people really are, what they reality think and value. With what you are learning, and most importantly with and through Christ, you can and are using this well and your testimony will helps many others too. God bless you x
What a testimonial Mel – so raw and real! You have experienced the pain and hurt of betrayal from those people closest to you (your birth family) and have grown in strength across the board! The restorative power of Christ and your faith in Him is a shining light to all those who are experiencing similar troubles from their birth family. You truly are a wonderful soul and I am proud to have you as a sister in Christ. May God bless you and Lighthouse and be open to forgive those with repentant hearts!
Thank you so much Mel for this powerful testimony of finding and strengthening your voice through Christ and community.
To be frank, I was so disturbed to hear what your sister has done firstly but then that even her being held accountable for her sinister actions, she has continued! God bless you Mel, to have your own birth family do everything they can to try and destroy you and your future (which they can’t and won’t!), is very heartbreaking to see.
Mel, so many people are going through what you are and even worse, right now and your willingness to take the actual truth of what you have gone through and hold your birth family accountable, is such courageous and vulnerable action to take. Thank you so much in trusting us with your experiences here. Some of their comments like leaving you on the side of road or Dagmar using your love of Christ as a way to try to manipulate you, is so chilling. I’m so sorry that is what you were born into but as we know, you are going through what you are for many unseen reasons and you are and will help many others like you to find and strengthen their voice.
I wanted to end with this quote from your testimony so that anyone reading this knows they are not the only one and they know through reading your testimony, they can also heal, they can grow and develop and come to Christ (if they choose too) and transform in ways they never thought possible!
Dr Forward writes: “Children who are not encouraged to do, to try, to explore, to master, and to risk failure, often feel helpless and inadequate. Over-controlled by anxious, fearful parents, these children often become anxious and fearful themselves. This makes it difficult for them to mature. Many never outgrow the need for ongoing parental guidance and control. As a result, their parents continue to invade, manipulate, and frequently dominate their lives.”
Thank you for sharing your testimony Mel. I’ve witnessed over the last few years the heart ache and heart break that you have gone through as you have grown and tried desperately to help your birth family understand why you have needed the support of this community. Your strength through Christ while feeling sadness and hurt of how they have tried to sabotage you comes through as well as how you are trying so hard to reconcile. It’s such a awful experience to have your birth family destroy what you are building – loads of love to you
Mel, thank you for sharing your testimonial and what you had to go through in your life. I feel very touched by being able to read this and to know you. It is so hard to recognise toxic parenting and face up to the pain and suffering we experienced – or even admit to ourselves that it actually happened!
It’s amazing to hear how you healed and overcame so many of your challenges.
All those who persecute Lighthouse and our work ought to really read your testimonial. We are far from perfect but I know we all try our best and we are willing to take responsibility, repent and make wrongs right and we are not hiding away from confrontation! That’s how a REAL family and community ought to be!
And: I love your child picture and it makes me smile 😊 God bless you x
Mel, this is stunning! Thank you for sharing with the world. What you have endured, healing from and through is moving to read. I have known you for some time now and seeing you grow from strength to strength has been inspiring. It was actually through your own experiences of facing toxic family members that I was able to see the damage being done to me by my toxic family. Making the choice, like you to create that space and heal. Thank you and God bless you.
Everyone in life gets to a threshold moment where we have the choice to either sell out to our old lives or stand up for truth and for what is right. To stand up for Christ. The fear and trembling involved in standing up to your entire family persecuting you is huge Mel and I know we often go through our own private hell in doing so. I salute your courage as as strong emerging woman to stand for our Christ when many weaker people would sell out and have. Then slandered us in the process. God bless you and your continued healing in the lighthouse family and in Christ. Thank you for your example x
Mel, God bless you dearly my sister, you have been through so much trauma in your life, and the family support you desperately needed has come from a surrogate family, Lighthouse, while your controlling birth family has been instrumental in bringing about its demise through slanderous lies. Thank you so much for your heart-felt apology to Paul Waugh and Lighthouse Mel, however we have all grown strong together through your families part in the constructive sabotage, and certainly a super strong Mel, who will be at the forefront of our future work supporting individuals and businesses who are at the mercy of these malicious, defamatory, duplicitous saboteurs. I so love the profile picture that is shown in your article Mel . . .it symbolises for me as you look out at the horizon . . . all of your tomorrows . . .a healing Mel in so many areas with, through and for Christ, aided by our Lighthouse Family, and our super caring Head Mentor Paul Waugh. Loads of love Mel x x x
Mel, it’s been inspiring and a privilege to see your healing, growth and maturation through your involvement at the core of Lighthouse Global. We exist for everyday, good-hearted and conscientious people to overcome the barriers to realising their God-given human potential. It’s incredible to see your transformation both in terms of your character and also your lifestyle.
It really saddens me to see how much your family has in the most public way possible tried to sabotage your healing and your growth despite the fruits becoming increasingly evident. It’s pure evil for them to want you to be the person you were rather than the person you are and the Christ-inspired woman you are becoming. God bless you for expressing your struggles with your family so openly. The sheer violation that has happened to you, for your own father to lie on national TV and say you have been kidnapped in the BBC’s A Very British Cult is one of the most blatant acts of human evil I have seen in my life. And then there’s the way they falsely triggered a police visit to your private home of residence as well as provably lying to the Secretary of State to try to shut down the work of Lighthouse that has provably made a positive impact in your life, in my life and the lives of many others.
I applaud your courage and your willingness to stand up to your family and their harassment. Most notably I refer to your recent day in court to hold your sister Tania Francis accountable (a qualified lawyer and Partner at Hempsons LLP no less!). God bless you and those you will serve with and through your experience as you become increasingly led by Christ in your life.