What Lighthouse Global means to me and why I am compelled to write this testimony
I am writing this testimony because I want to be heard and heard clearly. Ultimately, Paul S. Waugh and Lighthouse Global as a collective have saved my life, I mean this literally and figuratively. There is no doubt, no uncertainty, and no exaggeration and I will present and back up my reasons for stating this.
What I am going to share in this testimony, is very personal information about my life and I am compelled to do this because I will not stand by and watch an exceptionally small group of deeply unwell, toxic, hateful, bullying tyrants try to take down Lighthouse Global. If you are not familiar with the hate-filled smear campaign against Lighthouse then please read here for some background.
Lighthouse Global is not just a research community, this is a caring haven, to find safety and begin healing from narcissistic abuse inflicted by toxic, coercive/manipulative birth families, who either initiated and/or are involved in a two-year smear campaign against us. At times our work has literally been life-saving. There are associates here at Lighthouse Global who had previously attempted suicide and through the community support here, are not only the opposite of suicidal but are now helping others too with the same experience. Some people were still being abused by their own birth family well into their 20s and 30s and have finally found the courage and strength to be able to confront and remove these abusers from their lives. I was one of those who was able to do this with the support of the Lighthouse Global community.
And that is why we are here right?! When I first heard these accusations, yes it was a surprise because it wasn’t even close to what I have experienced, but in hindsight, it was inevitable, that when a child dares to shake up the dysfunctional order of the toxic birth family, depending on the levels of toxicity in that family, there will be hell to pay for that family member, and the very people supporting that family member (in this case, Lighthouse Global). I still struggle to understand how someone who gave birth to you or slept in the same room or bed, or whom you have told the most intimate secrets, could be psychopathically determined to destroy your interests, and your future and ultimately, harm and maim you. I still haven’t come to terms with it but here we are.
Why Lighthouse Global must stand strong in the face of this persecution
To become a Lighthouse Global Associate Partner, is not some run-of-the-mill job. We work 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. We support people with families, with children, who are in serious distress at times, desperate, lost, vulnerable and completely alone, most often, being attacked by their own birth families just as we are now.
This whole experience has been and is incredibly distressing because after my many years of intense personal development work, many sacrifices, such as losing a monthly income and working 7 days a week on an average of 15 hours a day, advanced levels of education and study, navigating the difficulties of building community whilst supporting people in various levels of vulnerability and strife, I would never think we would have to take this route to ensure we protect ourselves, our families, our interests and investments.
So why go through this distress? Why not just walk away? I’ve gone through a minimum of 20 years of primary and tertiary education, I have been employed by others, been self-employed and have had an expansive variety of life experiences but there has been absolutely nothing that comes close to the commitment, the dedication, the trust, the time, money and the effort I have invested into myself and the Lighthouse Global pioneering research community. This pioneering research has discovered why human beings do not and cannot follow through on the personal development work needed to achieve their goals. I have given 12 years of my life, every single day, Monday through to Sunday, with at least eight of those whilst I was working full-time, to build what we have here. I would invest thousands of hours and pounds again, without hesitation, because of what Lighthouse Global stands for: the development of God-given, human potential and healthy relationships and family.
Our research on God-given human potential has produced extensive and lucrative applicable results which I am proud to have been involved in and most importantly, to have applied in my own life to nurture and develop my God-given potential. I for sure, would and could never allow a handful of demented people to try to put an end to our work. There is too much to lose!
What I cannot afford is to lose the opportunity to serve children in the way I have been helped. I could not live with myself knowing that our pioneering work is supporting and has the potential to support children globally to receive an upbringing, which I will elaborate on later in this testimonial. Alongside helping children, I want to continue to work closely with parents who want to learn what parenting is so they can diligently prepare their children for the mayhem and chaos that is ensuing on our earth right now. This is not just my livelihood they are trying to take down, it is my duty, my responsibility as a Christian, as a human being, and as a woman.
Ultimately, I would be losing the very meaning and purpose in life I am only now, at 40 years old, starting to come to find. I finally know how I am supposed to be using my life, which is something I have desperately wanted to know since the death of my birth dad nearly seven years ago.
One of the biggest sacrifices I have made has been my childbearing years, to put my attention into Lighthouse Global and my own healing. Instead of having my own children, I am dedicated to helping other people’s children, those who are being abused and those needing parenting.
These are a snippet of the deeply disturbing global statistics of child abuse we are up against: (Report: Action against abuse)
-One in four young adults (25.3%) had been severely maltreated during childhood.
-Around one in five (18.6%) children aged 11-17 have been severely maltreated.
-One in nine young adults (11.5%) had experienced severe physical violence during childhood at the hands of an adult.
-Nearly a quarter of young adults (24.1%) experienced sexual abuse (including contact and non-contact) by an adult or by a peer during childhood.
-One in six children aged 11-17 (16.5%) have experienced sexual abuse.
This is what every single one of these predatory trolls does not want to or can even grasp, their lies, their abuse of us, has not only taken a great deal of our time, attention, money and effort to refute but has taken the same away from children. I come from a toxic birth family (both immediate and extended) and I have young first cousins right now, who are being neglected and toxically affected by their unstable birth parents. I intend to invest in Lighthouse Global programs that will give them a chance at life, through receiving an upbringing. I cannot do this if I do not have the support community, the resources, and the leadership to follow through on this intention.
And investing is not just financial, it is also time and effort. In the last two years, we have had to spend hours of time, sacrificing financial income, sleep and our physical health at points, to ensure we were at the very least defending ourselves if not on the offensive to these attacks. That of course is not sustainable, and intentions I had last year to invest in a young girl, were impacted by this whole ordeal. That cannot happen again. We cannot afford for young people or anyone seeking help, to miss out on the opportunity to be parented and supported merely because they can’t invest themselves or because people like me cannot reach them because we are so overwhelmed trying to defend ourselves against malevolent smear campaigns.
What happened in my childhood that meant I needed the support of the Lighthouse Global community?
I am born to first-generation immigrants who came to this country during an extremely hostile time. They lived hand to mouth in abject poverty and were focused solely on surviving with parents who worked multiple jobs just to put food on the table.
This meant that my parents received not much more than a domestic pet would..food, water, shelter and some entertainment once in a while. These were not two people even remotely fit to bring up children of their own, they were severely traumatised, broken, highly narcissistic and still living in survival mode when my sister and I came along. They most certainly could not bring up children, namely in giving us a healthy upbringing, because how could they, when they had not received one themselves?!
What this meant was, inevitably, that I was narcissistically abused. My entire life was controlled by my domineering, bullying birth mother who would take out her rage and wrath on everyone, particularly myself. I couldn’t eat, sing, play or express how I truly felt without being criticised, without being made to feel there was something wrong with me. My birth dad was emotionally unavailable, passive and reinforced and enabled her abuse. Because I looked up to my birth dad, I subconsciously believed I somehow deserved this abuse because he condoned and endorsed it.
So, for 18 years, I grew up..physically. I got older in age, my body changed, and I looked different, but I wasn’t parented. There wasn’t a sitting down to do homework together, there wasn’t any interest in my God-given potential to create, and there was no nurture or attention given to my spiritual, emotional and mental health and well-being. To be frank, it was more of a down bringing, for years my natural, childlike glee became muted, and I became a shell of the smiley, warm, affectionate, caring child that had been born into the world. Many Lighthouse Global associates could share similar horror stories, hence the desperate need for the support community that Lighthouse Global provides.
What is an upbringing and what were some of the consequences of not receiving one?
I must stress this because it is not even close to being taken seriously enough by humanity. If we do not know what an upbringing is, what it looks like, and what its aim is… we should not be having children. It is that crucial, that critical and that vital. The consequences of this can be catastrophic to human life and we have discovered this here at Lighthouse Global through 18-plus years of research on the human being and our God-given potential. We have seen in our own personal lives and the lives of those we support, that an upbringing and the role of family, have been extensively compromised and violated.
I can state categorically that I had no idea what the word ‘upbringing’ even meant until I joined Lighthouse Global. My understanding is that an upbringing is a dedicated process of volitional parenting, which means, mentoring, coaching and counselling a child to develop the character, competence and tools needed to become an effective problem solver. An upbringing ought to prepare a child for life through the nurture of a continually developing character, rooted in fundamental values and principles and this process never stops; it is not some obligation between ages 0-18, it is ongoing and is pivotal and life-defining for a child.
So, it was no surprise, that as I did not receive this, I left my house, bound for university in my penultimate teenage years, quiet and retiring but full of rage, highly anxious, which showed as constant defensiveness, dangerously gullible, vulnerable and unable to say no to anyone. I was completely underdeveloped, unequipped and easy pickings for predators.
How and why did I commit to joining Lighthouse Global?
I discovered a love of photography after university, and although I realise now, I used the camera as something to hide behind and a way to escape from the trauma and pain of my childhood, it would lead me to take a catalytic step into finally starting to live rather than this dark existence I had become accustomed to.
I had decided that I would like to start a photography business and as the British Library held resources to research business acumen, I visited it a handful of times. On my last visit, I looked at a noticeboard and saw a post. It said the name Adam Wallis and it intrigued me because it spoke about pre-start-up support. That was exactly what I was looking for! I needed guidance for starting up a business and at the time, I thought I would receive the same tips and techniques I received elsewhere…but I could not have been more wrong!
The first phone call with Adam was surreal, he asked me questions I had never been asked…what were my dreams, what if I could achieve them? I was stunned and intrigued, not excited yet, but very curious. Intrigued and curious enough to decide to invest in me to become a Lighthouse Global Associate Partner. I invested as much money as I could raise which was no small feat, as at that time I was working in a civil service role and paying rent for a flat in London on my own. I didn’t value it then, but investing in myself has been one of the most life-changing experiences. Why? Because what you say to yourself when you invest your time, your money, and effort in yourself is: I matter, I am worth this and I won’t give up on myself, no matter what I may have believed to the contrary.
What has it felt like to be invested in by Daniel Schmitz and Jeffrey Leigh-Jones?
One of the most fundamental defining aspects of Lighthouse Global is community. We are a community through and through, we have each other’s backs like nowhere else I have seen. I first learnt this when I needed help to complete my associate partner fee and after my birth family refused to help, Daniel, here at Lighthouse Global, invested in me. Chris Nash was the person who made this happen, without my knowledge, he had spent hours of time, when he could have been earning an income for himself, to support Daniel in raising further investment that I could put towards my associate fee. I was stunned and so touched, I couldn’t help but sob with appreciation. I believe, even though I had been mentored for some time, through this investment in me, I truly felt I had someone in my corner, who was entrusting me with this gift to make something of my life and who believed I was worth it. I had felt like an outsider, a weirdo and odd all of my life because I didn’t think like my birth family, I didn’t think like most people and the judgements and criticism I had received, reinforced my already deep insecurities. But this! It made me feel seen and no longer alone.
The second person to invest in me, was Jeffrey Leigh-Jones, one of the people now involved in this toxic smear campaign. At the time, I remember that he called me out of the blue, and told me he would also invest in me. It was a heartfelt, moving and incredibly poignant phone call because Jeffrey and I both had a love of nature and sailing and had spoken about going on a sailing trip one day. Because of the connection and warmth I felt from him, I shared openly with him that his investment meant so much to me because I would be able to help young girls who had gone through my experiences and were lost, vulnerable and without guidance and support. He didn’t expect me to tell him that, he was almost speechless. From what I felt at the time, he was deeply touched, not knowing that his investment would mean so much to another person. But before we left the call, I told him as much, I told him what it meant. He shared that he was very happy to be able to help in this way and that he was looking forward to our work together in supporting each other’s aims in life. When I subsequently saw him in September 2021, there were no words spoken as we embraced, we were looking forward to what opportunities would arise through this investment and so with where we are now, it really hurts my heart to believe that this could have just been a show, that his heart really was not in this with me truly.
I want to make it clear here that not one member of my birth family has invested in my growth and development, not one. In fact, my birth mother stole the inheritance my birth dad had wanted to go to my sister and I. It was his dying wish and not only did she refuse to invest in me, she also found a way to ensure I could not further invest in myself further. This further betrayal was the beginning of the end for the very frail relationship we had.
What I have had to sacrifice to make Lighthouse Global work and why have I stayed at Lighthouse Global
There has been something I have come to learn over these last two years, every single one of those involved in this smear campaign, has suffered very little and sacrificed even less certainly when it comes to Lighthouse Global.
We catered to them in order to ensure they could be as involved as possible, whether that was cutting audios of calls they could listen to or ensuring they had every opportunity to share their reflections and we even had sessions specifically spent on answering their questions. We did everything to accommodate and support them after they made their own decision, of sound mind, to invest and join us at Lighthouse Global.
The core team, those who had already given an average of 10 years to building Lighthouse Global, have made huge sacrifices and struggled financially, not for minutes, hours, days or even weeks, it was like this for years at a time!
When I decided to put my total and full attention on my associateship to become a full-time mentor and a coach in 2019, the shock of going from a regular income of over £1,000 to a few hundred pounds a month, if that, was exceptionally hard. And then I had to think about accommodation.
By the grace of God, before the Covid pandemic started to take hold, Paul Waugh organised a home for nine people and invested a whole year’s worth of rent, to keep us together, to keep us safe and for us to work. After transitioning out of full-time employment and giving up an annual income of £25,000, I needed this safe house to live in, away from the city where I could build my life. He also had his own home and family to fund but he took this responsibility of his own volition, caring for the welfare of each person individually and collectively. Where does this ever happen?! I do not know of one person at Lighthouse Global whose birth family has ever done this for them.
It doesn’t stop there, for almost the entire year of 2021, I had to go to the Lighthouse Global community every month to help me pay my share of the rent and I mean every single month because I just wasn’t able to make ends meet! For someone who had led a very small and therefore controllable world, where I had set it up so I didn’t have to ask anyone for anything, this was an incredibly stressful period. I could not go to take my Godchild out, who I adore, as I used to and the basics of self-care maintenance, like haircuts, were relegated back to me. When friends or certain family members asked me when they were going to be able to see me, I couldn’t tell them I didn’t have the money to meet them. How could I tell them at nearly 40 years old, I could just about contribute to basic food shopping?!
So again, you may ask, why put yourself through all of this? Why stay here at Lighthouse Global if it has been that tough?
I could not have answered this question as well as I can now about 2 years ago. When I finally confronted my birth mother about her abuse of me and realised she was extremely toxic, I found it so repulsive and deeply disturbing because I knew that this was a common experience for many of the associates here and the people I was supporting. The levels of toxicity within individuals and families are so high, that most people do not stand a chance of living a healthy, well-rounded life. Once I knew this, I knew I had to get as healthy as possible and through the community here, provide surrogate parenting to as many people as I could so they had an opportunity to use their God-given potential to, at a minimum, take care of themselves and their families, in the best way they could.
I would never walk away from the privilege of being able to pay forward the priceless support, love, care, friendships and education I have received here..never.
How Lighthouse Global helped me to come to Christ
I want to clarify the reason why I say Paul Waugh and the Lighthouse Global community have saved my life, because after years of searching for absolute truth, for reality, Paul supported us in coming to know Christ. After many years of making important developments to my character and competence, I truly started to transform when I came to know Christ. I am talking about massive major differences in my character. Major addictions I had for years started to fall away, and I was able to start to heal my unresolved trauma because I felt secure for the first time in my life, in Christ.
How has this malevolent smear campaign and predatory trolling impacted me
I spoke earlier about how it hurt my heart to discover that what I felt was a genuine connection between myself and Jeffrey Leigh-Jones, was possibly just a show. But to be frank, I am really putting it mildly. It has taken me many years, through the priceless love and care I have received at Lighthouse Global, to be able to open my heart again and share vulnerably with anyone. It has taken just as long to be able to hug other people genuinely as this to me is a very personal act.
Almost every one of the predatory trolls, have heard me share openly on the calls, we have exchanged hugs and one of them even stayed in my home. I do not take this lightly, these are massive steps for me and us in the community, as we moved away from our birth families, to heal, we have started to build a healthy family and we believed they were part of it.
To then hear some of the vicious, falsified or distorted allegations they have made absolutely disgusts me. Their attacks on Lighthouse Global have been relentless, desperate, fervent and profoundly evil and really have not helped in rebuilding the very fragile trust I have in human beings. If it was not for Christ and learning to trust that He knows why we are going through what we are, I don’t know how I would have been able to face and go through these last two years.
It has become very clear over time that resentment, bitterness and malice in the heart, can make people make really detrimental and poor decisions which impact the most vulnerable. I do pray, as does this whole community, that through our prayer, they come to repentance and heal from their toxicity and transform through Christ.
How has Lighthouse Global supported me to help vulnerable people
I want to share a testimony from an 18-year-old girl I work with who was severely neglected and physically and emotionally abused by her malignantly toxic birth mother:
Mentoring has helped me by being able to talk to Stasia and help me get to know myself better. It’s helped me to know what my problems were and how to fix them. It also taught me a way to develop coping skills for things which cannot be changed. I was also able to understand what I wanted to do in the future and how I was going to do it. I was able to get advice from Stasia about the situation between me and my mum and why it was like that as well. I was able to know how to deal with toxic people. I understand myself more by getting to know why I act the way I act sometimes due to my trauma. Stasia was able to understand that because she went through the same thing.
I could not have helped this 18-year-old firstly without Christ and secondly without the help from the community to address my narcissistic damage. The reality is this girl is one of the billions of children in our world, abused in every type of way. I can’t help them all, I need the Lighthouse Global community to develop young leaders who can become exceptional problem solvers and meaningful contributors to the world. I know at the age of 40 years old, my meaning and purpose are to ensure, as many children receive a healthy upbringing which starts with their foundation being rooted in Christ’s example and developing good character, fortitude and a life vision.
In addition to this testimony, please see further reviews of the support I have been able to give to other females because of the support I have received through the Lighthouse community. It is important to note three of these females have come from toxic families:
1. Client ‘E’: Testimonial
She has been absolutely incredible. She has made me realise so much about myself that I didn’t even realise. She actually listens and remembers things which you’ve got to always appreciate. I love the fact she sends texts during the week in between sessions so there isn’t just a week’s gap between us talking. I couldn’t recommend anyone better!
2. Client ‘R1’: Testimonial
Stasia deserves 10 stars. Her energy is amazing, and since speaking with her she has really helped me see life differently. She is patient with me which I appreciate and her way of speaking and explaining is great. I would recommend Stasia to anyone who is feeling lost, and unsure of what to do with life as she made me feel as though I do have a purpose and I can’t thank her enough. 10/10 for sure
3. Client ‘A’: Testimonial
Stasia has been a great help. We clicked straight away and she made me feel comfortable instantly. Not only is Stasia accommodating and thoughtful, and she is able to give real-life practical examples, this is great as the work we have been doing over the last month is not just theory and what-ifs but also involves learning to cope and manage real-life feelings. Stasia is helping me with my self-confidence and helping me learn how to deal with feelings of grief in a much healthier way and I would recommend Stasia to anyone looking for similar support.
4. Client ‘R2’: Testimonial
Stasia is great to work with. She is understanding and very relatable. She gives you a chance to express your feelings and provides valuable insight and guidance. I feel very comfortable with Stasia and she is helping me to develop my confidence and form new habits and ways of thinking that I am working to put into action.
Why Lighthouse Global is needed in our world
Our work is needed more than ever; children are being left to the wolves, young men and older men are killing themselves in droves and so are teenagers. I could not live with myself if Lighthouse Global was to be no more because I know, after our intensive pioneering research, we can really help people make life-changing decisions in line with their God-given potential and their needs and wants.
A healthy family is extremely rare and even rarer within a research community. We have a healthy family here within Lighthouse Global and that is no accident, we have painstakingly built this research community with our focus on people and relationships.
It is glaringly obvious that the institution of ‘family’ is under attack in our world and that attack is increasing in intensity, which is why Lighthouse Global is on the defensive and offensive because we cannot afford to let tyrants win when the lives of children and our investments and interests are at stake. Lighthouse Global must continue to lead the way in pioneering the nurture and development of the God-given potential of human beings to produce benefactors who can contribute impactfully and meaningfully to our world.